A wedding planning checklist won’t help you plan your perfect wedding. Here’s why
When it comes to planning a wedding, a wedding planning checklist sounds like a dream come true; a single A4 page with satisfying tick boxes and the promise that you can do three things per month to have the perfect wedding. Wedding suppliers draft them, savvy creators sell them on Etsy, and you can even find free templates in the likes of Canva and Microsoft Word. But here’s a secret – they’re not actually what they claim to be.
Wedding planning checklists aren’t actually for planning your wedding – they’re for organising it. They help you understand the best order to do things in and how much time you need; like booking your venue, speaking to suppliers, and choosing your caterer. But actually planning your wedding is about understanding what’s important to you as a couple, and sharing a vision for your wedding that excites you both. Committing to this shared picture before you start choosing venues and suppliers will be really important for focusing your research, controlling budgets, and helping to keep the wedding overwhelm to a minimum.
This element of wedding planning is much more about gut feelings than numbers and facts, so it can be hard to know where to start. That’s why we’re sharing a couple of our most important questions to sit down and discuss with your partner to help you understand what you really want from your wedding day, and every day to follow. Grab your fiancé, a pen and some paper, and your beverage of choice, and let’s get started!
What makes you happy?
A question as simple as it is complicated! What makes each of you truly happy, as individuals and as a couple? Don’t rush this one – take some time to mull it over separately and together. Understanding what makes you most happy and instilling that essence into your wedding day will be one of the best ways you can make sure you’re directing your wedding budget into the things that matter to you most.
Do you like to be cosy indoors, or out in the fresh air? Do you find joy in flowers, candlelight, bigger or smaller groups of friends and family? Comfort food or fine dining? What’s your favourite season or weather? All of these things and more will be relevant for your wedding, and can help direct some of your initial research without suppliers trying to persuade you of one option over another, and complicating your wedding plan.
How do you want your wedding day to feel?
Everyone wants their wedding day to be happy, but what else? Historically weddings have been more serious affairs, but research shows that couples today are more than happy to break with tradition to create a wedding day that feels unique to them. Your wedding can be fun, quirky, stylish, or laid-back. It can be an intimate gathering or a sparkling spectacle. What feels right for you?
Close your eyes and imagine different parts of your day; the ceremony, the reception, the dinner. Is it homely or more glamorous? Are you and your guests spending more time talking or dancing, posing for photos or playing games? Consider any smaller social gatherings you’ve planned together, or your date nights. If you prefer talking over dinner in a gentle ambience, you might prefer a live musician over a classic wedding DJ. Or if a party night is more your speed, you could replace standard floral decorations with creative disco lighting.
How much attention are you comfortable with?
When you’re planning a day for so many people, it can be easy to forget – your wedding day is about you. Just you two. All the eyes and all the attention will be on you and your fiancé. How does that make you feel? For some people, being the centre of attention is unfamiliar at best; for others it’s their worst nightmare.
Have a think about where you both fall on that spectrum, and how that lines up with your vision for your day. If you love the spotlight, maybe you’d like to give more of your budget to things like your outfitting and your photographer, and play newlywed games to entertain your guests. But if it’s not your favourite thing, you could seek out a venue with a little private space where you can escape for a breather whenever you need to, or wider grounds where you can take your wedding photos without an audience.
A couple of practical extras
What were your favourite and least favourite things about weddings you’ve attended as a guest, and how can that help you with your own wedding vision? If there was too much food leftover at the end of the night, maybe take that as a suggestion that you don’t need to go overboard on your catering.
Are there any people you don’t want to get married without, such as close friends, family members, or even pets? Your venue will need to be able to accommodate your most special guests, and not all venues accept animals or large numbers of children – have this in mind before you start your venue search.
What doesn’t matter to you? It’s the 21st century – you can do away with anything you don’t really care for. Don’t waste money on a multi-tier wedding cake if you haven’t got a sweet tooth, or suffer a real flower bouquet if you struggle with hay fever. You might be able to trim down your supplier options before you even start!
These are just some starting suggestions to get you both in the right frame of mind to consider what you really, truly want for your wedding. Once you have your plan, you’ll be in a much better position to communicate your needs to a venue and negotiate with suppliers – and start using that wedding planning checklist at the right time!
As a dry hire venue, our beautiful 19th century heritage wedding barns offer full flexibility to plan your day however you choose. No dedicated suppliers, no exclusive arrangements, no strings attached; just a blank canvas on which to build the wedding of your dreams. Take a look at our wedding spaces to learn more.